I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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