I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
