butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
