Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize