How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
