That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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