I can't breathe out the right side of my face
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
