We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
