At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
