Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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