bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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