Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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