I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize