Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So many bounce houses so little time
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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