maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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