I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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