I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
