She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I love you. Go after that dick
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
