Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
