Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
