I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
