I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
