Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Randomize
