imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
