I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
