Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize