is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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