names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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