so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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