Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
