i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
