some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
