This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
