I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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