I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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