ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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