My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
