what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
