i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
