Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
