I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
