And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
