The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
