I hate all girls vehemently.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
