just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
