We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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