Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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