My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Can I color on your dick again?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize