Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
