there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
