I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
