then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
