Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize