I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
