Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
she looked like the before picture.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i now understand why vodka
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
