omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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