I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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