I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
