Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
