"it" just moved
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
