so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize