Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
