I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
