Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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