Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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