Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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