I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
